How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
