i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
