worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
