I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
