i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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