is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
soo... how was my night?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
