Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize