I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i believe in u and ur pee
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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