apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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