the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
