i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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