I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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