we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
