just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ketchup is God's man juice
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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