I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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