So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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