The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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