i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
