i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize