You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
