We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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