He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
