If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I need water and some morals
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