Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
