She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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