I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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