Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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