If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i will never coherently bang her
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
