peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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