I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
