If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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