I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
