I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
