So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
