I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize