Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
