Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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