I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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