so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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