My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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