I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
