she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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