Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Of course I have a pirate flag
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i think im in europe. pls send help
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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