right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
