I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I love you. Go after that dick
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