That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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