the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize