Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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