even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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