who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
