Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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