There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
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If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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