I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
