My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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