Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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