How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
