it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
