There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
