So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
