there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
