do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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